Girl, cloudwatcher, zombie slayer.

AGAIN it's after midnight and my weary eyes bat heavily.
So today I cleaned, went to the beach for my walk, went shopping, made food for 9, played with E, had amazing sex with G and had a successful BBQ. YAY me.

L just left. She came over to check her email so we got to chatting about W and why I'm attracted to her. In my head I know L's listening and wondering how I could know she has the same attitude I do with regards to sex and still fancy W (who isn't interested) more than her which I actually don't but my stupid brain twists things all up rather than just work honestly. Like when I was a kid and I liked a boy then I would do everything in my power to make sure that that boy would NEVER find out even though I would happily pretend to like boys I had no interest in! How warped is that?

Anyway, I've mentioned W to L (in fact they have met) so L sometimes asks me questions about her and I feel like I'm trying to throw L off the scent by making out that I like W a bit more then I do. WHY WOULD I DO THAT!?
Tonight I watched her and realised that she is insecure and vulnerable and rather than tell her I feel like she is 'way-out-of-my-league-beautiful', I just nodded and smiled when she said things that make me wonder if she's been telling me she's been well up for it. This is all so complicated.

How much of how I act has to do with the fact that I'm 'all talk, no action'. I know that when I flirt with W there may be a little flirting back so it's safe. If I thought she was going to be all over me when we met up I wouldn't like it at all! Half of the enjoyment is the persuit in this case. With L I wonder how quickly flirting would need to go on to something else. She has lived with a woman after all! I'm just this sweet little innocent Canadian...

I am attracted to L but feel completely out of my depth, intimidated by the fact that she is beautiful and experienced and knows so much about things that I know so little about.

So, I suppose if I am being brutally honest (and as it's almost 1 am, it's a good time to be honest) I've got a girl I (at times) agressively flirt with who doesn't find me at all attractive and a girl who I think IS attracted to me but I'm too shy to flirt with.

Do other poeple make things this complicated for themselves? Lets not even get started on the fact that I'm meant to be in Canada already!

Going to bed.

It's after midnight and I've slept 8 hours all together in the past 3 nights so this is a quick one!

Yesterday was great. Had some mates round and got drunk in the garden. L stayed for ages longer than she should have as JD's grandma died yesterday. Oops. She's HI-larious when she's drunk/stoned!

Today I had a lot of errands and bullshit crap to do. I may also have caused a minor car accident which I technically wasn't involved in. I took great pleasure in telling the rude little bitch who had slammed into someone elses car from behind that she was welcome to take my details but that it was a company car and that I was leaving the country in a few days so GOOD LUCK! You should have seen how pissed off that made her!

So it's that time of week again. Weigh Day. I'd been dreading it because last week I only lost 1/2 a pound despite dropping a dress size. Luckily things have balanced out and I dropped 8 pounds. 192 pounds or 13 st 11. That's over 9 stone loss since March. Holy crap, that's an entire person. Motherfucker.

Walked Honey tonight.

She appears to be very happy in her new home. I cried for the first time yesterday when her new owner showed up as a suprise. It was the first time I'd seen her since she went and I sobbed like a kid. I had to hide my face in my jumper to soak up the tears (which I am allergic to).

We're having a BBQ tomorrow with quite a few people coming round so I am heading to bed so I can get more than 2 hours of sleep!

LOVE, KISSES, SEXUAL MOLESTATION,

me

FABRICATED BY MY DIRTY LITTLE MIND!

W said once that she will never kiss me. Her words dashed my naughty dreams then rang in my ears like the horns before a foxhunt!

A CHALLENGE!

Chatting in our little Yahoo IM window earlier I realised that if I morphed our profile photos I'd have come one step closer to a kiss with W...

W and I at Alton Towers:

E and me in the park:

{SMOOCH}

AND THE BETTER PIC:

The girl who has kindly agreed to feed and love our cat Glimma has just called to say she would like to pick her up tonight. I suppose it's easier to give both the dog and the cat away on the same day, right?

Anyway, this is a tribute to a cat who was, only as I was walking out of the house, taken in exchange for her sister! She spent a few years being a bitch (as female cats like to do) but since I had E has turned into the sweetest princess kitten ever. She's also a mad butterfly hunter.

My labrador retriever Honey goes to live with her new family today! I'm GUTTED but will, as always, appear to be untouchable. I've struggled with feeling guilty for giving her away but I won't be flying pets overseas anymore.

Anyway, this family adore her. The older daughter has just sent me this on msn
please dont cry! you will make me cry, when you bring her.

I won't. I'll cry in the car on the way home.

Honey has driven me mad and made me happy when I was sad. I can't even imagine a better dog.

Meeting the cats!

Honey on the beach!

:

And again years later...

Honey giving birth! (ew!)

And when they got older...

My stuff is all packed up and probably bobbing along on the Atlantic somewhere.
I wander around my empty house and feel nothing.
I'm excited to start a new life again in Canada.

A and I have spoke a couple of times recently. I avoid him as he brings amateur dramatics. I can't be dealing with that sort of nonsense.

I haven't emailed my X, B in over a month. I've only stalked him online once during a weak moment when I was chatting to W and she was taking way too long to respond. He creeps back into my head occasionally but now that I have accepted that the 19 year old boy I was in love with has turned into a 27 year old man who plays golf and drinks like a fish. I'm not into that. I AM into the fact that he seems to be doing a 10k run for charity soon. Damn it.

I've been so busy lately with the workings of moving overseas. G and E's visa's are due next week and, fingers crossed, we shall be heading to Toronto next weekend!

Before that though I have a get-together with friends (informal), a going away party (catered, stiff and lame). W is coming to piss about Liverpool with me on Monday and Tuesday we're off to Alton Towers!! Woo Hoooo! Wednesday I'm seeing a movie with some m8's. Thursday is for packing and Friday is for moving the rest of our shit to G's parents house. Saturday (barring any complications visa vie the visas) we're off! Holy shit that's soon...

It hardly seems real to me. Going home to Canada is sort of a big deal to me for a few reasons. One, I was about 9 stone heavier last time I lived there. Two, I'm totally out of touch with Canadian politics, culture, current affairs, etc. And last, I'm no longer insulated enough for -28c winters! That's a fucked up number! It shouldn't even be possible to get that cold!

7 years ago today?

I had a little cry in the car this morning. All that 9/11 bollocks brings me right back to September 11th, 2001. I'm not a particular softie for that happenings of 9/11 or any of the numerous tragedies that have occurred this decade (respect etc.), but I remember where I was on that date.

I had turned 22 the week before. I had been living in England since June 4th and was due to marry G in 4 days. I got botulism from a can of chicken drummers and beans in a can. It was on September 11th that my fever and 'other' botulism related symptoms were calming down enough that I no longer feared dying so I was left alone.

I thought I imagined watching a plane crash into a building. I couldn't get ahold of my dad on the phone and I was so ill. I cried all day. It was dark and horrible and I was in a foreign country all alone about to get married. I was TERRIFIED about the state of the world and how I could be about to marry someone I had only known for 3 months.

I'm so tired! I feel my eyelids becomming incresingly heavy, drooping lower and lower.

I had a nice day today with E. We went to the park and had a lovely walk until he decided he was going to hit me in the face when I tried to put him back in his stroller (pram). I swiftly strapped him in and blasted my ipod to drown him out.
I wandered round for an hour or so; popped to the shops to get some lunch. When we got in E ate and then went for a nap. L popped round to drop off some toys for E to borrow as our things are leaving here on Friday! He loves the Blanket Time Iggly Piggle which I think L lent to him because it's loud!
After his nap, E and I played hide-and-go-seek and raced round the house like mad. I love how I never seem to get worn out anymore!!

My drug dealer (yeah, the one who out on bail for the shooting incident!) called me to say he had some,'aite shite' so I made a drug run this afternoon.

Girls came to walk the dog. She was MY dog, now she's THE dog and when she leaves, she will be THEIR dog. She's also know as THE BIN which should be self-explainatory.

Watched Futurama with G tonight now just sleepily stumbling through a messy blog before some sleepy sex t finally...

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Friday I had a busy day with family and a few mates.
Saturday, weigh day, I managed to GAIN a pound! yeah, wtf is that about!? I don't know! All I know is that I have gone down another dress size!

So G and I dropped E off at the in-laws and headed to Alton Towers Saturday morning. I hadn't been on a roller coaster for 9 years because I was scared I'd get to the ride and find out I was too fat to fit (which actually happened to a guy when I was there!)!

We spent the night in the lamest 4* hotel I've even been in but had awesome drunken hotel sex anyway (G was drunk and I took advantage).

Sunday I got G up at the butt crack of dawn to head pack to the park! He pussied out on the coasters the day before so I queued in the single riders line and had ride after ride and the queue was empty! Then a wasp flew down my shirt on Nemesis and stung me in the neck and boobies 6 times. Let me tell you, if you ever have to be stung by a wasp and by some miracle you get to choose where and how, then I highly recommend a rollercoaster as the adrenalin rush killed most of the pain and I seemed fearless and hard.

Came home Sunday night (My 29th birthday!). E was pretty mad at me (and not G for some reason) but eventually gave me kisses and sang me twinkle twinkle little star which actually comes out 'Yeah yeah ya yaa yeah yeah yaaaaaa!!'

Monday I had a mate over for the day who is lovely, bless him, but stays far too long!

This morning I got all ready to go out shopping for underwear (which has become my new hobby) when G told me that he was taking my car and that I was car-less. So instead I stayed in and had visitors (V, L and M). L and I hang out pretty much everyday now. She said today that it will be weird when I leave and she's left with my house and things. We've planned a piss up together before I leave and because she will be living in my house I feel pretty confidant that we'll keep in touch over the next 2 years whilst we're in Canada. I have plans for her yet! (dirty sexual fantasy to follow soon )

Anyway, I've managed to plan another trip to Alton Towers before I leave with W. She claims to be a roller coaster lurver like myself but she has yet to prove herself!

What else, what else.... Oh yeah. A still isn't speaking to me BUT I have gone one step further to ridding my brain/heart of B. I'll elaborate when I have more time!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! I want to turn 29 for many years to come!

I fell asleep on the couch tonight and when the phone woke me up I couldn't figure out if it was 7:30 AM or 7:30 PM! Falling asleep during the day messes with my head!

My pee hole itches with passion!

Sometimes lately I feel like I've taken speed. It feels like my heart is racing and the world just can't keep up. For instance, night before last I walked into the living room at 12:45 am. I began walking in a circle, thinking about the things I had to organise the following day. When I next looked up 15 minutes had passed and the carpet had a trail of footprints outlining the outskirts of the room. Over and over...

I've been going for late night walks that leave the dog breathless. Maybe my body is using the food I put into it much more efficiently then it used to? Or maybe someone has slipped crack into my water bottle.

I had a nice day today!

I cleaned the house then grabbed E and went out to look for under eye concealer. L told me twice that I look tired this week! I suppose there are actually 4 reasons for my eyes looking tired, puffy, red...

1. I went to bed at 3:45 am and was up feeding E at 7am several times that week!
2. I have 2 types of anaemia since the gastric bypass that I take shots and pills for but I often forget to take them because...
3. I smoke a lot of pot.
4. I have no decent concealer.

And so I retort onto myself:

Sleep isn't always an option.
I endeavour to take all my pills!
I'm not all that into smoking dope like I was when I was a teenager. It just helps me not feel like I'm going to be sick when I do manage to eat, which to be honest is a lot more frequently as time goes on.

So I went and bought some foundation and under eye concealer and a new Lancome basecoat for your face that is so amazing it has to be tested to be believed. Then I may have accidentally bought like a LOT of other cosmetics but in all fairness it was raining and I wasn't feeling very glam and I was fucking bored.

L came over when i got home (after I chucked E in bed) and we spent a few hours having a laugh. I really misjudged L the first few times we hung out! She's hysterical and I already have a better sort of relationship with her than I have with my other mates in England! We've decided a night on the town is in order before I leave this cloudy haven for 2 years.

L left when I went to get G in town. I was fine when I picked him up but was quite cranky with him on the way home because I'd forgotten to eat all day and my tummy was killing me.

I managed some of my duck soup. It's duck-tastic. (Quack, QUACK. Oh no.. bad form!) Then I hung out with G getting ready to go out whilst he played some spectrum game from like the time before pac-man.

SQ and I went to see Stepbrothers (her choice!) tonight. I actually ended up laughing my fool ass off. What can I say? I'm a sucker for gratuitous profanity and senseless destruction.

SQ bought me 'VIBRATING LUV DUCK- your discrete bath time buddy!' for my birthday! How much of a coincidence is it that I figured out this week that the only place I have any hope of enought time for a decent wank is in the shower!
Does 'Quack, QUACK' work better here?!

I got in around 11:30 and had a quick cuddle/fondle/chat with G as he was already in bed. I've got that crack/speed feeling again tonight so I decided to get up and practice some yoga. Then I saw W online and got distracted.

I'm easily distracted by W. Especially when she puts her webcam on. She's a flirt most definitely but I don't know what to make of W. Or indeed why I am so attracted to her. I believe her when she says she's never had the slightest interest in being with girls. I'm also pretty sure she never will. I think she craves attention and love and can maybe take some comfort in my endless attempts to see her unbelieveably sexy breasts that she unflatteringly describes as 'spaniels ears'.

I've never flirted openly with a girl before. I mean, girls have flirted with ME and I've been bashful, blushing and (above all)obliging. But I've never started the flirting before. I've repeatedly made W blush with my rude comments so it feels as thought the tables have turned a little.

I asked her once if the way I acted towards her (i.e. being overly keen to see her 'spaniels ears') made her feel uncomfortable but she laughed and said no. I took that as an invitation to persevere in my 'quest for breast' but then days later she told me definitively that I would never ever see her knockers.

"Never?", I asked.
"Never!", she replied.

I was gutted! Surely someone who would bestow nothing but adoration and awe on her breasts can't be banned from seeing them!? That's ridiculous!

Of course it's also pretty redundant as I leave in 4 weeks and doubt we will see each other again.

MY PENIS ITCHES WITH ANGER!

HE SAID SHE SAID Part 2
OK, so apparently I didn't actually SEND the email to A I blogged earlier so he sent me ANOTHER email. I've edited it for boredom sake but REALLY would like someone to exaplin to me what they think is wrong with this bloke!

HE SAID:

SUBJECT: 336 HOURS (!)

Well, I haven't heard from you, which is fine. I hoped for some sort of answer or response, but I'm the last person who should be guessing how you feel about things right now. It's only been a few hours, too rather than about 300+ hours which I'm guilty of.

I've decided to at least let you know what's going on over at this end this last couple of weeks. First of all is that I now have a new blog. It's super-secret. I know this because nobody reads it. When I post my visits sky rocket to almost 5 in that day, and then the excitement diesaway. I suppose as it's self-indulgent and completely for my desire to score the music of my life – it doesn't really strike a chord with other people.

I was thinking about your memory the other day. You used to tell me that you couldn't remember things over a year or two old. It seems weird because you're pretty good at it now. You never really explained why you thought the change had come about.

(INSERT novella catching me up on his week!)

I'm just about to roll into a very hectic week. I should have seen it coming but as each day goes by more and more things are stacking up against me. I'm struggling to keep up with it all. I just need a couple of clear days of no distractions. They never happen though.

Well, my head's pounding. I need a shower, and I have an early start.

Be well,A

So I sent the email in How I Responded (blogged earlier today).

He replied with this:

Hey you,

Well, you never said it (I assume he means that he was in a loveless marriage?) - but that's what you were getting at. You can't avoid that. But I'm not making an issue out of it. It's how it went down and that's that.

Like I said, I had to decide what to do next but I care too much to do that cutting off thing. I gave myself an ultimatum and hopefully made the right choice

You know what? The reason that you're in the corner of my mind is simple:I loved you a great deal. I'm not a believer that those feelings die away into nothing. If it did we wouldn't be here after 10 years. I admit that sometimes the nostalgia part of me amplifies that - but beyond that there's what I hope is still a friendship. I still love you, just not the same way as I did. I still love L and K but I wouldn't run off with any of them.

And yes, I act like an arse sometimes. Don't think that I didn't realise it at the time. You know when the best chats we had were? On the phone. There was no time wasting. No misunderstandings. We said what needed to be said and got on and had a laugh. I think that's what causes the most issues. That and the two of us filling in the unread sentences in our heads.

Likewise I do remember trying to tell you I was feeling down, or 'detached'. Obviously that didn't come across too well. In The Unbearable Lightness of Being, it touches on couples' misunderstandings on such a basic level that it tears the relationships apart. I suppose we should be thankful that our misunderstandings are not so subtle.

But enough of all this. Believe it or not - I like it when you're honest with me. And I am happy for you. I was so worried for you when you went to Canada last year, you wouldn't believe it. I was trying to help you stay on course in your relationship. Obviously the thing that helped is the thing that I didn't even try to do. I wanted to be there if you were upset, be able to offer advice when you needed it, and just take some ofthe trouble away by sharing.

When it comes to me feeling blue, I start talking in riddles and close uplike a clam. It's just easier for me which, I know, is somewhat of a paradox. And I know it's a pain in the arse for you. I'm sure we can get back on track soon. If you're willing of course. Just let me have a day at a time.

You asked me to forgive - and after briefly being angry I can't help but. I hope that's not an issue for you, too.

Be well,A

BTW - If you want to send me the occasional message, that's fine. They brighten my day. Just don't repeat 'bowling' 1 million times. (inside joke. was never very funny.)

So now I feel angry with myself for letting him make me feel so insecure all this week just because he was ignoring me. When I broke up with him years ago he changed his numbers and email, everything to cut me out. If he had told me he hadn't been able to speak to me because his wife forbid it or because he'd decided I was a distraction and that he needed to focus on his relationship then I would have respected him for it.

Instead I feel like he THINKS he's in love with me, won't admit it because he's too shit scared of what that might mean even if I did reciprocate (which I DO NOT!) and is too much of a pussy to move on without me.

He just send a goodnight IM. I'm ignoring it.

I showed G all these email, leaving out little snippets that might upset him and he's been so understanding. That's why I am in love with him!

I don't ever want to be in a position where someone ignoring me can make me feel worthless again.

What should I do??

I'm out of his league anyway. Right!?

MEN!

8 am I got that message (I'm sorry-I'll email you soon) from A. That stressed me out. I also woke up to find out that W's boyfriend dumped her right after I spoke to her last night. Those two titbits of information got my brain thinking all the way into town to drop G off at work.

I spent the morning tiding round, playing with E and sorting through clothes that no longer fit me. It's a nice feeling to know with certainty that I will never fit them again.

L came round this afternoon. I'm really starting to like her! I kind of wrote her off as devastatingly beautiful and a little too girly to be proper friends with. Today however L spilled the beans on ALL sorts of sexy info and I'm starting to really like her!

Not ONLY was L a lesbian years ago (if you could see a picture of her and her X I'm sure it would turn even the straightest of girls!) but she has some very interesting friends indeed! Friends who have swinged (swung? were swingers? WHAT'S THE LINGO!?) and confided in me how much she too misses fooling around with women.

At the time I was like a deer in headlights! Shit, in my head it's a wasted dirty opportunity but in reality there were 2 kids in the room and things were not as sexy as they could be! Otherwise the fantasy involves us kissing and caressing until we're both well and truly wet and then L going home and fucking her b/f for the first time in 6 weeks(!). Reality isn't like porn sadly.

Other titbits L told me: Her partner told her before I had even met her that I seemed quite DIRTY! LMAO Takes one to know one? Apparently not! He is very insecure about her being with women and therefore she hasn't since she's been with him. I said ditto about me and G except that G and I have been together for 7 YEARS! I think she felt my pain...

It all got me thinking. And getting high didn't help stop the cog wheels. Long story short, I may have tried to convince G that I should be allowed to make out with girls if I should so desire. He said he'd think about it but that he understood the appeal of breasts as he couldn't live without mine. OMG for a life where even the slightest possibility of naughtiness being within my reach!

Then we discussed how 'thinking' and 'doing' are different things and how the consequences can rear their vicious heads in the light of day or possibly post orgasm. I told him I knew that for a fact because when I slept with a girl I was friends with in high school I only did it because I had fantasised about it even though actually letting her eat me out wasn't nearly as sexy as my fantasy had been.

Well, I made the mistake of saying 'eat me out' whilst wearing new red lace knickers and bra. We spent the next hour and a half having sex in the kitchen, in the hallway, on the stairs and then finally in the bedroom where we were interrupted by the lady who is taking my dog when we move to Toronto actually returning said dog as she had been at theirs.

After that the mood was ruined. I mean, not for me obviously cus it would take a lot more then answering the door to someone in the middle of sex! But G somehow lost interest. I'll molest him in his sleep later and get my way.

Anyway, made myself a roasted mushroom whilst writing this but it doesn't want to live inside of me. I also made some duck soup base today and will make it into a lovely duck noodle soup tomorrow which hopefully I will be able to eat.

So A finally emailed me this afternoon and I'm well and truly unimpressed with him. I don't think I can forgive him for abandoning me again like he did when I broke up with him. I really would have respected his decision had he done it to improve his relationship with his wife rather than to punish me. I'm over it.

I've been chatting to W trying to convince this gorgeous girl that just because the guy with no name dumped her doesn't mean that he was good enough for her to begin with! To be brutally honest he lives at home, is slightly mentally imbalanced, seems addicted to unattainable relationships not to mention the fact that he tried to get W and I to make out in front of him walking home Friday. Picture a guy drunkenly stumbling down the street shouting, "Just kiss! I know you love eachother! It would be so beautiful..." ! What must my neighbours think!?

W has told me tonight I will NEVER see her breasts. I'd been half-heartedly trying to get a picture of them off of No Name and now it looks as though that is never going to happen. Shame as W is gorgeous in a very unique way.

I know I was out of line. I sent an email as soon as I woke up! I'm sorry! I was so tired and just so frustrated and I regret what I said.

However, I wasn't 'messing with your life'. I just saw our situation last year and realised that if you were/are unhappy right now that I can't be the person who makes you feel better. You have always been good to me in that way; thank you.

I NEVER SAID YOU WERE IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE! I have the chat saved if you would like to go over it! I said maybe you needed to think about why you have me stored in a corner of your mind because I asked myself the same question and the answer made me realise how unhappy I was.

I think it's good you're taking some time. You obviously need to. I just wish you'd be man enough to confront me. You haven't got a clue what I've put myself through because you couldn't/wouldn't speak to me. I'm not sure I'll ever forget that. Two times too many for me I think.

You didn't come to me saying you were feeling down btw. You came to me saying you had loads to tell me, being cryptic and not saying anything at all. I just thought, sod this. He needs to know where we stand. Yes, I AM in love. Shouldn't you be happy for me?

John, honestly, if this is about how you feel for me then I think you really need to think about the fact that you have had, over the past 10 years, numerous opportunity to have me. Even the last night we spoke I asked you straight out if you wanted me. I will never ask you again because I will no longer allow myself to care about the answer.

Speak to me again when you can. And I really do wish nothing but the best for you.

Let’s cut to the chase – you were way out of line the other week. After we spoke I passed out and when I woke up my head was spinning with what you had been saying. I was still depressed and felt like the emotional equivalent of being smashed around the head with a sledgehammer.

Over the course of the next two days I had to re-evaluate things. It took some time as I had to try to lift the fog of my depression. It took some doing – but I gradually got there despite the obvious. I mused on the way the conversation went down and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. I still can’t work out why you’d go to the trouble of telling me that you’re great and happy and in love only to then follow and say that, in essence, I’m in a loveless marriage. Nothing like leaving a guy high and dry, eh?

Of course, it took me about two weeks to work out that even you can make mistakes. Still, I don’t let many people into my life. There’s an element of trust that is shared. You simply don’t mess around with people’s lives like you did. The arrogance of it! If I come to you saying that I’m feeling down – I really, really don’t want to then be told that my life is a lie – true or otherwise. I seriously doubt anyone in that situation would consider it a good idea.

As it happens, the fog lifted and I reconnected. I mused on how I had been feeling a little down with K. She simply remarked, “Well, everybodygets like that.” It was true enough. I suppose that the journey for some existential definition can sometimes be tiring and we’ve got to realise that. Happiness might be the road, but sometimes we find ourselves on unexpected detours.

So, that’s it. I’ve briefly been licking my wounds and deciding what the hell to do about you. It was so tempting to just draw a line and say, “No more.” I knew all I had to do was remove your contact details from things and that would be that. I think that knowing it was finite to a degree scared me enough to realise that I care too much to do that.

All of this just leaves the question, “What now?” Despite myself, I miss our chats but in the short-term I don’t think I’m willing to entertain that. Not right now, anyway.

If I’ve upset you by taking some time-out, then so be it. This isn’t to apologise. I’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ once and that’s enough (regardless of the abuse returned).

Hopefully, I’ll hear from you.

A, Boy, abandoner, unapologetic

Making E's cereal this morning at 8am, I recieved this:

A says:
I'm sorry - I'll email you soon.

To which I replied:

you had fucking better