I threw my back out this morning just after G went to work. I don't know how the fuck I managed to do it but I'm in a world of pain if I try and stand.

Typically whenever I've been in a vulnerable position G reacts agressively. When I broke my leg he freaked out and went on anti-depressant medication (which he still takes). He would get so angry with me whenever I needed his help that a few times I went all day without food because I couldn't move and he was an asshole.

But there has been much worse.

I hate him when he is like this. I don't understand how you can resent someone you are supposed to be in love with when they clearly need you.

If there ARE soulmates, G is not mine. I'm sure of this.

Today he's been pissed off because:

he had to drive me to the dr's
he had to change E's diaper (nappy)
I asked him to pick up a ready meal for e's lunch (as we're still in the hotel and I usually take him out for lunch..
etc.

There are really too many little things he's been a complete wanker about.

Basically, my 'supposed' partner for life is a shithead when I really need him but lovely otherwise. I don't think it's right or fair and if I could fall out of love with the huge stupid lummox I would.

I really would.

I deserve better.

He'll be all apologies once I'm better but will never understand what its like to need someones help and have them resent you for it.