Bryan came over when I was a little sketch on Sunday night. Lo Lo had promised to have a sleepover with me but she finally texted me at 10 pm to say she wasn't coming. I kinda lost my shit on her as it was the third time this weekend she's bailed on me at the last minute. She sent back a pretty pissed off text about havign a life and shit to do and I haven't spoken to her since.
SO I asked Bryan to come round and watch a movie. He didn't get here until after 11 pm. We went for a walk to get some food that might appeal to me (oreo ice cream sandwiches, sugar cookies, ice team etc.) then walked back to my flat. I hadn't eaten properly in days and was starting to feel a bit weak.
Bryan is very tall and very sweet, standing 6'6, with piercing blue eyes and very dark brown hair. He gently touches me in the grocery store; kisses me head in the elevator.
We watched a lot of telly whilst I had a couple of drinks.
THEN, and only because it came up on telly and I asked him, did he admit that it was HIS BIRTHDAY!! How he neglected to mention that was beyond me! He said he didn't want to guilt me into a date. Silly boy! I felt so bad!
I asked him to sleep over after that. We cuddled and made out for hours. He has a massivly thick cock I was a bit intimidated by, not gonna lie! HAHA.
I didn't sleep with him.. I really just needed the closeness and wasn't willing to add another 'number' to my list of men I've nailed. Which is currently at 7.
B,the X, the pilot, trev, Surf, reiki guy, and Dave.
I spent the rest of the day recuperating and chilling out. I hoolahooped for hours and hours and danced and just enjoyed being home alone.
I did NOT work at ALL on my resume or at getting a job this weekend, which was meant to be my sole reason for staying in the city whilst the X and E went to my parents house. {sigh}
I'm feeling pretty low about myself...
The magic 8 ball said that Surf would make first contact again yesterday for certain and he did. He texted me and send me a message on msn. He said he had been thinking about me the night before and that the two weeks was well and truly up.
"Is that how long it takes for you to miss me?", I asked.
"Haha no. That's what you said when you left last time... C U in 2 weeks..."
"I said a month", I said. I got no reply.
When I came online awhile later, he said, "it feels strange that we hardly ever see eachother."
This is very odd for Surf as us not seeing eachother is his choice, not mine.
I played it cool, "yeah. That's nothing new though."
"Yes it is!", he said, " We used to speak everyday."
He's right. I asked him OT to contact me everyday, saying that it was unnecessary and just added more confusion to our already odd relationship.
But I miss him, even in the confusion of written messages.
I miss hy heart racing when I see it's his name on my phone. I miss thinking he's thinking about me.
I agreed to meet Hoorhey at Jack Astors for drinks/dinner hoping that Surf would text me to come over anyway. I'd have ditched anyone I was with to see Surf at this point. Sad really...
Hoorhey was funny. I spent too much on drinks but had a nice time with him. I didn't feel unbelievable sexual attraction but still could see how good looking he was. About 5'8, black (Guyanese), shaved head, gorgeous mouth and teeth.
We had a few laughs, I apparently showed him a nipple by accident and we peaced out around 10 pm so he could catch his train home.
I got a text a few minutes later walking home saying he actually missed his train and another one wasn't due for an hour but I ignored it and walked home anyway. I'd run out of things to chat with him about really...
When I got in I texted him to say I'd just got the message and I was sorry he'd missed it. Then I got into a major spat with the X. He'd cut off my internet (and has again right now as well, I'm writing this in notepad to be uploaded at a later date!) and was
pissed off at me because I don't keep this place obsessively clean like I used to keep our house in the UK.
Basically, he feels used for money, which he is, however, I feel that I am entitled to the child support/alimony that I am/will receive and he is pissed off about it. In my head, he deserves what he gets as he is still an emotionally abusive asshole, trying to get me to lose my temper so he can use it against me later. He tells me how stupid and useless and all manner of things that I am in an attempt to break me down. I can't believe I was ever in love with him! He is killing ANY love I ever had for him;
Right now, I could watch him die and not be sad.
Sad but true.
Anyway, he completely emotionally drained me. He agreed to hook up the net again if I would leave his room and let him sleep. It was almost 12:30am by now.
I stole a bowl of weed off of him and let him go to bed.
Jays was online. He's a super hunky blond guy I met ages ago on pof but had never met in person. Jays looks very straight, is major financial advisor, lives down the road from me and smokes weed! I told him I was stressed and that i had just punked a bit off of the X. He invited me over. I really needed cheering up so I tidied up my teary face and hopped on my bike.
I picked up a pack of smokes on the way and brought a vodka rockstar and some fireball whiskey.
When I got to his building, the security guard asked me the last name of the person I was visiting. I said, "His name is [blank]? I should probably know his last name, eh?" Oh man.
Anyway, we had a good night! We chatted for hours, smoked all the weed we had and laughed at silly things. Jays is full of stories he wants to write down and publish. He told me a few online dating horror stories that made me laugh my ass off. Mostly about clingy hoors wanting much more then he offered... He wasn't really anything like I imagined him to be but was actually MORE interesting. Tall, blond, blue eyes, built like a rugby player without all the busted up bits, thick thighs {swoon!} and a dynamite Peter Pan smile.
Somewhere around 3 he asked me to join him in bed. We hadn't even touched before this point except for me to maybe tickle him. I went and we chatted even more.
It was when I was tickling his ribs after telling me another tall tale that he finally kissed me. Soft and a bit wet. Not overly amazing but very nice. Lost of kissing, touching, laughing, joking. I told him I don't have sex with men I've just met and I maintained that stance for at least an hour until my knickers were so wet he was practically slipping inside of me. I'd thought about it enough at this point to know I wanted to fuck him and wouldn't have any regrets like with Reiki guy.
My only hesitation was Surf. I'd joked a month ago about how he was the 5th guy I've ever slept with but since the last time I'd seen him I'd racked up 6, 7 and 8. His face was shocked and when I said I was joking he laughed his ass off.
But now it's TRUE! After Surf there was Reiki guy, Dave and now Jays. That's still only 8! That's not a slutty number yet, is it? What about if you think about that fact that 6 of those are since March? 
Anyway, we fucked for hours! He made me cum 2 times. I kept waiting for him to cum but he'd go slightly soft. He said he DID cum at one point but I was wondering if he just said that. He could have kept going after that but I bounced. It was almost 5 am. I teased him about being my new boyfriend and introducing him to my parents next week and laughed my ass off.
I told him about Surf and how it made me feel guilty because I like Surf and want him to like me.
Really though, I don't know what's happening with Surf. He's hot, he's cold. I'm sure he's falling for me one day and the next I'm convinced he doesn't care at all.
Of course, one of the first things he told me about himself is that he is like 2 different people sometimes...
