Sunday morning. Hella awful out. I thought it was Monday today as I stayed in last night and watched TELLY!I NEVER watch telly. SRSLY.

I'm meat to spend the day with Sarie and E. We wanted to take E to the park to play but, like I said, it's fucking gross out there. The forecast is 31c and partly cloudy. Instead it's cool and humid and looks like buckets are about to come down.

My weight seems to fluctuate between 144 pounds and 153 pounds for months now. I like being 144. I endeavour to be 135 BUT whenever I get to the lower end, my bum and tummy still look too big and the rest of me looks a bit skeletal (IMO).

Since I've lost the weight, my skin has been tightening a lot more than I had though it would. Because the surgeries needed to get rid of the excess skin on my tummy, ass, thighs, arms and to fix (lift or implant) my breasts isn't covered in Canada like it is in the UK if you lose the weight, I have to wait until I can afford it to have it done. The plastic surgeons I've seen have confirmed what I have researched myself, the extra skin on my body can weight between 20-35 pounds. SO, even though I appear overweight on the BMI scale I'm actually in a healthy weight range. I JUST NEED TO KEEP TONING. And praying my skin will keep tightening!

I've finished the second part of the Career Planning workbook from the employment centre. After talking it out with Sarie, and D on Monday when I broke down and cried, and thinking long and a little hard about this, I think I may concider taking a one year cosmotology and hairdressing course. I know I'd enjoy it and I also know I'd be good at it. After all, I've been cutting and dying my friends hair since I was 13.

I just sort of feel like I am setting my sights too low? Does that make sense? I wonder if I am not aiming low so I have less chance of failing. Could I really become a psychologist? I'd LOVE to tinker and learn about the people and why they do the things they do because of emotion, but can I see myself dedicating the better part of the next decade to it?
Maybe?
Anyway, Now that I have finished the second part of the workbook I can go in to discuss furthering my education and what jobs will be the best suited to me.

Florist
Whore
Cocktail Waitress
Pharmacist
Chauffeur
Chef
Lounge Singer (does rockband count?)
Mommy

My hair is growing back. People have suggested I start a No Doubt tribute band. Meh.

OK so yesterday I'm in the grocery store across the street and the guy from my building is there. And he asks me where I've been, what I have been up to, why I didn't wat to just have a one night stand (!), tells me he has a girlfriend who is at his place a lot (!)... I'm like, seriously buddy!? What the f-word!? I tell him I am not interested and that I'm not longer looking to date new men, just wanting to concentrate on MY life and getting my shit together. He said that that was a shame as I look like I'd be quite dominant in the sack. OMG. I put my earphones back on and peaced out right about then. What a noob.

Surf texted me at midnight. I had texted him once Friday night walking home at 3 am after eating my baby cone from McDonald's. It said:

I just licked an ice cream cone and thought of you ;)

So he replies at midnight SATURDAY night:

Did you happen to have gotten it all over your face? (He has a fantasy about wanking onto my face. Technically he has ALREADY cum on my face the second time I blew him as it went everywhere, but he says that doesn't count and wants me to be looking up at him, mouth agape waiting expectantly and impatiently for him to rub his gorgeous cock and cum all over my face.)

I said:

Na but I'm sure you can imagine me lapping it up...

His text actually woke me up and even though I had been exhausted before that, I was wide awake. I had half a roast beef sandwich, 2 cookies and a pint of water and watched another episode of Mad Men, which I had been watching earlier.

He never texted me again:(

I'm so nervous to see him again. This Tuesday it will have been a MONTH since we've seen eachother. How can this work? I trust the things he says and maybe I don't believe in my heart that anything is 'forever' so essentially we think that same thing; we will not be together forever. However, the more I learn about Surf, the more I want to know. I don't just want to fuck him, I don't just want to get to know the facts about him. I want to makes TIMES with him! I want to go out, get drunk, get into mischief! I want to whisper to him in a movie, touch his thigh and make him hard in a restaurant... haha We've never even been on a date. Always me going to his place.
OMG He REALLY DOESN'T like me does he!? I don't understand why he can't just be honest if this is just about a booty call. I've been honest with him about that being all I was originally up for. Why does he insist on trying to make us best friends too? I hate this game. I'm for sure losing.